Thursday, July 01, 2010

Karan Klassics

I met Karan's LKG teacher a couple of days ago and she told me that he had come to her class and told her kids a story. He also told them that they must all learn to write. The reason? So that when you grow up and get married you can make lists! So ma'am told him that marriage comes last - "you need to study hard, get a great job and all that before." K's reply? "Marriage is not last, children come last!"

I laughed for a long time after that thinking about the thought processes in his head. Anyway, this inspired me to jot down for posterity a few of K's classic lines...actually I have unfortunately forgotten many - but if anyone can remember please remind me so that I can add it here.

1. When I die, please say "karan chathu and not karan marichu, because I am an animal" (though chathu and marichu both mean died in malayalam, marichu is more respectful and is what is usually used when humans die)

2. This morning, I was explaining the meaning of addictions to K (he asked because he loves the song "addicted" by Enrique). So I said "you know some people are addicted to coffee, to PS3, to t.v., to cigarettes." He thinks about it and takes it all in and then...."amma, I love fish a lot. But that's not addiction, that's obsession!"

3. On his first trip to Thekkady with his grandparents, K was afraid to get on the elephant (name Gopalan). So his appacha tells him, "Gopalan is a 'veliya' (big) tootsie (dog at home)". This made K warm up slightly to the elephant. A day later when they got back to Kottayam, on seeing Tootise, K says "Appacha this is is 'kochu' (small) Gopalan."

4. When I asked K a few weeks ago about why he was always angry, his response "amma, I'll stop being angry if you just let me do whatever I want!". So I tell him all about how no one ever gets everything they want, not even appa or amma...he didn't look as though he believed me and I thought that he didn't till about 3 days later when I asked K to go for a bath. "Why?" comes his immediate reply. "cos, I want you to"says I. He continues to sit there and calmly replies "Amma, I'm not going for my bath because you don't always get what you want!"

5. He declared that he wanted to be a Hindu since they believe in reincarnation and if he became a Hindu, he could come back to earth again...but next time he wants to be back as a fish in a fish tank in Appa and Amma's house! Update: His latest is that he doesn't want to become a Hindu as they might accidentally burn him thinking he was dead! (since they cremate dead bodies)

6. On the concept of extinction (in conversation with his RC Ammacha).
Ammacha: K I saw a dinosaur when I went to the US.
K: No way, because dinosaur's are extinct.
Ammacha: No I'm telling you I saw one.
K: Ammacha stop saying lies. Dinosaur's are extinct everywhere in the world.
Ammacha: What does extinct mean K?
K: It means that the animal is no longer living on earth.
Ammacha: So is Tootsie (our dog) extinct?
K: No.
Ammacha: But why? She's dead and no longer living on earth.
K: Yes, but there are other dogs still living on earth. So dogs are not extinct and only Tootsie is dead.

7. On a day when I have been scolding him a lot, K says "take me to my real mother. You scold me so much, you cant be my real mother."

8. K (To his aunts): "When I finish UKG, then I go to 1st, then 2nd....on and on..till 12th"
Aunts: Then what?
K: Then college.
Aunts: Then what?
K: Get married obviously!
Aunts: Then what?
K: Have kids - I want to have 6 kids!
Aunts: Wow, that many?! Have you thought of any names?
K: I will name one of them Robi Jr., one of them blah blah blah and one of them Bon Jobi (I think it sounds a lot nicer than Bon Jovi.) - also K's mallu roots are stronger than he thinks!

9. K: Amma, we dont have to go to the school fete if we don't want to right?
Amma: No K. Only if you want to.
K: I knew that!! Usually fun things are not compulsory.

10. K (to one of my colleagues): What do you want your first child to be? Boy or Girl?
colleague: Hmmm..... Boy.
K: Then all you need to do is pray really hard every day till the child is born that it should be a girl! (unfortunately, for K he found this theory out only after fervently praying for a brother, which is what he had wanted)
Colleague: Thanks for the tip. So I shall start praying today itself for a girl.
K: No no. Not now. You need to first get a husband!

11. On returning from attending my cousin's wedding (and missing 2 days school in the process), K's best friend advised him that he should not miss class to attend weddings - else there would be too much class work for him to complete. K replies "but I had to go, cos it was a family wedding and my uncle (Amma's cousin) would have felt bad if I didn't go, just like I felt bad when my Ammacha didn't come for my birthday. And that too, this is his first marriage(!). Even if someone you love, misses your birthday that's ok, cos they can come for the next one, but you get married only once and if someone misses that, then you can never make up!"

12. K told me rather sadly that he had only 2 sets of grandparents. When I told him that that is the maximum anyone can have, he thinks for a while and says "unless Appa marries lots of women. Then I will have lots of sets of grandparents." (What I want to know is, why didn't the thought even cross his mind about Amma marrying lots of men?)

Like I said earlier, there will more additions to this post whenever I can remember more of K's sayings.