Thursday, July 28, 2011

Are women bitchy?

OK. So I have had women pass comments about my weight and length of hair (or rather lack of it). I have seen women bitch about other women - about their looks, girth, interactions with me and at least a thousand other things. I have also occasionally seen women not helping a fellow woman in need. But I was wondering whether this was the norm or the exception and whether we have fairly or unfairly been given a tag of being "the bitchy sex". I was thinking about all my past and present relationships with women and wondering whether women were really a bitchy lot.

School friends & college friends

I am still extremely close to my girl friends from my school days and college days although we see each other on an average about once a year. In my school and college friends groups, I have had women who are sure about what they want and find it difficult to compromise, I have had women who are ambitious and want to get better grades than all others. Strangely, in both the groups, my women friends were toppers in the school / college! (Don't know how in the world I attracted such intellect). These girls were hard working and ambitious with a desire to excel. Yet, these girls, never refused to help when anyone had a doubt and were always genuinely concerned about how the other girls in the group did.

Work friends

I never really had women friends at work till recently. Now I have plenty. There are some aloof types and some serious go-getters out here. But, I have never seen any of us trying to cut another woman (or man for that matter) down to get ahead or bitch about someone when they are down. (Actually may be there are, and I am oblivious to all this). As far as I know, we all stick up for each other and have even gone out of our ways to help another colleague in a time of need.

My sisters-in-law

I hear that sisters-in-law can be really bitchy, cause a drift between you and your brother / husband, have ulterior motives even when they are being nice blah blah. To me all this sounds like some scene from a drama movie. I have 3 SILs who are simply wonderful. We have hardly fought with each other despite all of us being highly emotional people (which obviously means we would have touched a raw nerve or two over the years) and they would be the first people I would run to in a crisis.


The term itself immediately creates an impression of a stern unbending woman, obsessed only with her son's happiness. A woman whom you cannot please no matter what you do. A woman who pities her son for having married you and her precious grandchildren for having you as their mother. I'm sure there are MILs like that out there, but seriously are they the norm? My MIL is nothing like that - she treats my like her own daughter (or at least I would like to believe that) and more often takes my side over my hubby's.

In fact till today, I have not come across a mother-in-law like the one I described above. Sure, they have their opinion on how we should raise our children or how you should keep your home or what dishes your husband likes and will in all probability voice them (well don't our mothers do that too?). But are they generally a bitchy lot?

Other women in my life

My mom is probably best girl friend, but heck I don't need to get into how she does not try to cut me down or wish anything but the best for me, cos after all she's my mother and I'm sure all mothers (at least deep down) would want only the best for their children.

I have seen my maids really bitching about each other. But I have also seen them helping each other out when the other is in need. I have also walked in on them bitching about me. I guess on the whole they can be a bitchy lot, but on a day when I am unwell or the kids are unwell, I have seen them pitch in with extra effort to help out.

So basically, what I have seen in the various relationships I have with women is that there is an unspoken feeling of sisterhood. We can understand and empathise with another woman and we do help each other out when one of us in need. For me personally, women have always been the first to rush in to help when I needed it. Heck, there have been times in my life when even the men closest to me have not even noticed that I needed some help / sympathy. Men always feel awkward when an another human being is down whereas women have a better clue on what to say or do in such situations. I guess, if you were to ask me, I would definitely not say women are bitchy. Or have I just been extremely lucky or am I simply naive?